The Dawn of Realization

The past few days have been both time consuming as well as tiresome. My final exam for the semester concluded on Monday, since then I have been as busy as a bee. In all honesty, I slept till about 2 p.m. the Tuesday following the exam but that was only because exhaustion had utterly claimed me. The days since then have been dedicated to packing (both my draws and my closest are empty), but I have yet to complete this task. My phone rings consistently and my inbox has to emptied fastidiously as the numerous associates of which I have become acquainted over the past few months either call or drop a line wanting to get together before I leave or to express regret over my leaving. As if I have not socialized enough while I was here!!!

This has brought me back and I would be remiss if I did not take the time to thank the people responsible for awarding me the opportunity inclusive of the sponsors CBIE and DFAIT, the International Relations liaisons of both Brock University as well as the College of the Bahamas, President Hodder, Dr. Kelly, COBUS N.B.C., and last but not least my family. I always considered myself a worldly individual, but my tenure here as an exchange student has made that notion ever so true now. I have experienced the many circumstances of being not only foreign, but black and female in a predominately white country where women are looked at as second class citizens. Yes, I have experienced prejudices of sorts and I did expect this. What I was alien to was the emotion that piggybacked the discrimination; the helplessness that overcame me when I realized that I could not do anything about it. The adjustments that I made to acclimate myself to the temperature of indifference was so out of character for me, I often felt that I was having out of body experiences. It was like having a stranger in my own skin. I was now the often quiet, concise student that spoke when spoken to or volunteered the answer when no one else seemed able respond. I was that 'good student', that was often seen and not heard. I did not take over the seminar sessions or bully the T.A.'s into a change of topic at my peers assistance. I could not do that. This was a good thing, for it has humbled me in many ways.

At the same time, I found myself being appreciated for the student that I was. The many classmates that I worked with querying me about work and reading assignments, the nods or the sporadic conversations in the halls. The off hand explanations of, 'We have a class or a seminar together' that made it all worthwhile. I have yet to leave and already I am missing what I have started here. Looking back on all the opportunities that I have missed like not skating on the canal or having a beaver tail in Ottawa and taking part in Culture wave at the school. However, they seem superficial as I compare them to the events that I have been privy to such as meeting the High Commissioner Mike Smith; taking part in CBIE's and DFAIT's Round table Conference; Savannah Nights presented by Roots (the same group responsible for Culture wave)and Brock Idol. As I sit here and reminisce I realize that I broke even. Justice is really and truly blind and the scales in my eyes are truly balanced.

Three days and counting....